THE COMPROMISE - F.O.M.O
- seekingthehorizon
- Feb 17, 2015
- 3 min read
So… my sister got engaged today. Finally!! (Sorry brother in law to be) She had been waiting for this day for the better half of 7 years now. 7 years is a long time to spend with someone, without the security of those hopeful words: Will you marry me? Everyone was there to share in their joy, praise and congratulate them on this wonderful event in their lives. But where were we on this wondrous occasion? Sleeping, that’s where; 12493.6 kilometers, 7722.86 miles or 6745.8 nautical miles away, to be exact.
In those wee hours when you pass from wakefulness to NREM or sleep I heard my phone frantically vibrating on the small table beside me. Being far too heavy-eyed and not thinking anything of it, I left the android to compose itself and fell fast asleep. In the morning, however, when I slid my alarm off, there they were – a million messages, missed skype messages, missed calls and photos. What a spectacular way to start the day! “Honey!” I yelled, “My sis and Gregg got engaged!” “Finally” came his faint voice from under the covers.
I have only ever wanted happiness for my ‘big’ sister and now that she is on cloud 9 I feel as though I have been cheated. As if there is no way in life that you can have that damned piece of cake and eat the bloody thing too. Although I am as happy as a cat on catnip for her, there is a part of me that really doesn’t feel like photo shopping myself into these photos. It’s a never-to -be-repeated moment, and we weren’t there to personally congratulate them. On the bus to school, my F.O.M.O (Fear of missing out) took over and my mind was at war with itself. Was I silly to be miserable about the fact that we weren’t there? Who will be the maid of honor? Who will go dress shopping or organize her bachelorette party? Who is going to be taking my place? Which one of her friends will have to struggle to replace me?
And then I got to work, and thought to myself – I have missed so many birthdays, Christmases, Easters, new year’s celebrations, births, family gatherings, Sunday lunches by the pool, parties with friends and the list just goes on - eventually you have to realize that it is a part of starting your own little family, part of moving on with your own life and a part of starting your own intimate traditions. Soon, if all goes according to plan, Sean and I will be moving again and it will be their turn to be absent for the birth of our children, first words and first days of school.
We always mention what a ‘small world’ this is, but we never even begin to imagine how big it really can be. Only when we are so far away from each other do we start realizing that not only is it enormous, but it is filled with greedy bastards trying to make a buck on you getting anywhere. And so we start appreciating the little things in life. The thought that our parents are aging or our grandparents are already saying their final goodbyes expecting to depart this life with each passing day, or siblings maturing, moving to varsity or even getting married.
It’s these little, sentimental things that we miss the most when we are so far away. The seemingly insignificant facets of everyday life that we take for granted until we pack our lives into suit cases and move across continents or even cities. We are undeniably not the first nor are we the last to leave our home base in search of something greater, something more. And although it can be heartbreaking at times, it can also be the adventure of a lifetime that I wouldn’t give up for the world.
To my beautiful sister, inside and out, I love you from the bottom of my heart. I wish you and your man to be; nothing but love, trust, respect and all the happiness in the world. I am not depressed about missing out on this moment but extremely thrilled that you said ‘yes’ and you get to spend the rest of your life waking up next to the man of your dreams.
Written by Sophia Phieros.
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